My Testimony
I was born to parents who had no income and didn’t know a thing about taking care of a baby. I was taken away and placed in foster care at 6 mos. Adopted at 6 years to a widow who adopted two other boys as well. I was abused in the home, physically and sexually. I was considered a runaway by 14 cause I refused to go back home and endure any more abuse. In 3 years time, I was in and out of youth shelters and juvenile detention centers then on to more foster home and group homes. I had tried acid, smoked pot and drank. I ended up back home at 17 and met my first husband. We ran away together to Florida and then to Pennsylvania. When I turned 18 we got married. He abused me, I miscarried twice from it, and I kept going back to him until he finally raped me. Then he managed to get custody of our son who was just a baby then. Not being on my own ever, I went right into another relationship then married, and repeated history. Was abused and in some respects tortured. Had two babies to him, my second husband. I finally left and stayed away while he had my daughter and I was pregnant with his son. When Christian was born, my husband went on to tell the nurses that I was a drug addict and couldn’t properly take care of myself, let alone my children. With him already having one child the courts took his word didn’t test me either. Just took my son from me while he was still in the hospital. At this point my world was crashing around me. I was at my lowest breaking point.
A friend of mine at that time, was already telling me about God and what God has done in his life. So when another friend was with me the day I found out I didn’t have custody of my son who was still in the hospital, he took me to a place where the cross was glowing bright, we knelt down and prayed and I received God into my life. From that point on my life was forever changed. I went from feeling like a worthless piece of crap, to realizing someone out there really does love me for who I am and I am not stupid, I am not worthless, I am going to amount to something. I am worth something. And no man should ever, ever hurt me and rip me apart the was I treated. I finally felt whole.
That little girl inside me will never be, anymore but that is ok. Cause she is safe now. I started studying the bible and going to church. I never had a father figure and I wanted to know everything I can about my new Father in heaven. I have never felt so much love before. So alive. With everyone in my life telling me I am nothing, I am useless, then to find out that Jesus died for me….I was blown away. I couldn’t comprehend why he would do that for me. Little by little I learned that I am priceless in his eyes. He cares for me, he is my Father, he is my provider, my shelter, my protector, he’s everything to me. Jesus wiped away my tears all my life and I didn’t even know he existed. yet he forgives me, he created me, he loves me for me. September 1, 1994 I asked Jesus into my life and he still cares for me and loves me and forgives me for my past.
I fought for my kids ever since and finally one day in June 1996 the court ruled that Brian was in the wrong for keeping them from me and allowed me that day to pick up my kids for a weekend visit. That was a miracle in itself. Then when we went to pick them up Brian was handing them over for good. His words were “I don’t want them anymore” words that I never thought would come out of his mouth. Second miracle right there. God was giving me a second chance with my kids. I was never so happy in my life. I had help from my pastor and his wife for some time.
Over a few months I ran into a long lost friend who first introduced me to God and was telling me what God was doing in his life and very carefully we formed a relationship. We went to church as a family he loved the kids as much as I did. We had some rocky roads, but we got through them. After 2 years we went on to have my youngest child. 4 years later we were engaged to be married, I got cold feet and broke up with him, then 4 month’s later he passed away. I was crushed. I vowed to God I would never again get seriously involved with anyone. I have tried over the years but no one is like him. I have come to terms with it and will remain by myself from now on. Since 2002 it has just been me and my 3 kids.
Through the years, there is no way I could have made it through if it weren’t for God in my life. As a family we have gone through so much, but we made it becuase of God’s love. I have seen many miracles in my life and I know without a doubt there are many more to come. My life isn’t perfect but that is ok, as long as I pick myself back up and keep on trying God will help me get through.
